This week's Parsha discusses one of the ways people join together in marriage. There are other ways not discussed here, such as the Levirate marriage in which the brother of a deceased man is obliged to marry his brother's widow. There is also the type of marriage typified by our father Yitzhak: "Yitzchak brought her [Rebekah] into the tent, and she became his wife, and he loved her." And of course there is the current popular method with weddings and the exchage of rings. Through whatever method, marriage becomes kadosh or sanctified in the eyes of God; it is the foundation stone of civilization. But it is more!

Hosea 2: 18-22: And in that day —declares Adonai—You will call [Me] Ishi, and no more will you call Me Baali.
I will remove the names of the Baalim from her mouth, and nevermore will they be mentioned by name.
In that day, I will make a covenant for them with the beasts of the field, the birds of the air, and the creeping things of the ground; I will also banish bow, sword, and war from the land. Thus, I will let them lie down in safety.
I will espouse you forever: I will espouse you with righteousness and justice, and with goodness and mercy,
I will espouse you with emunah; then you shall be devoted to Adonai.

Those who accept God's marriage proposal call Him Ishi, which is an expression of marriage and the love of one's youth, as explained by Rashi. Both Ishi and Baali mean "my husband," but the latter also means "my Baal" or Master. As God's Spouse, we call Him our Beloved, not our Master. Such is the intimate relationship we have with Him! This is like the Hebrew word yir'ah, which means both fear and awe. Those who cling to the Beloved experience awe of Him and never fear.

As with many of our holy texts, Hosea is speaking beyond the conception of time. Well after the fact, the prophet speaks of the Israelites leaving Egypt with the promise of spiritual marriage and redemption yet failing to achieve them completely. He speaks of their entering the Land of Promise with Yehoshua after forty years of wandering. He also speaks of the return of the Babylonian captives to our homeland and of the time, still in the future, when HaShem will restore Israel as in ancient times but with grandeur our forebearers never experienced. May that day come soon!

Through it all, the Holy One speaks of Isreal as His Beloved Spouse.

What would you not do for your beloved husband or wife? At what point would your patience with them irrevocably end?

Not so long ago, the phrase 'Until death do we part' was taken literally. Married couples have always had problems; difficulties are part of life, but marriages in the West were much stronger in the past, and they endured the hardships far better.

According to divorce attornies at Wilkinson & Finkbeiner, 41 percent of all first marriages end in divorce, and 8. 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce—nearly half of first-time marriages.

As with most issues, people point to diverse things as the cause of divorce, but few point to the root cause. How can adulterers expect to expect to have good marriages? I speak not of adulteries with other people but of adultery against HaShem. Human marriages are reflections of divine marriage. "I will betroth you to Me forever," says Adonai. When people violate that marriage, their earthly marriages suffer.

There are a few different biblical methods of how marriages can become kedosh or sanctified in the eyes of HaShem. The main method used by biblical believers for the past couple of thousand years demonstrates something essential.

Traditionally, the ish, the man, gives something of value to the isha, the woman, symbolically sealing the legal contract of marriage. According to halacha, the two witnesses are required at a wedding to confirm that what the groom offers the bride, the ring in most cases, is of worthy value. Marriage is not an emotional event. It is the establishment of a sacred covenant with the other person in the eyes of HaShem. Inevitably, the 'shiny' wears off the marriage, yet the sanctity of the pact endures. As in this week's Parsha, historically, feelings of emotional love and attraction had little to nothing to do with marriage.

In return for the gift of the ring, the family of the isha gives something of value to the ish, the dowry, sealing the marriage and transferring the bride from the family of her birth to that of her beloved. "And the two become one flesh" upon consummation (Genesis 2:24).

This is what Adonai did with Israel, according to the Tanach! Adonai, as the 'groom' or chatan, gave something of incalculable value to Israel, His kallah, the Torah, in the presence of Angelic witnesses. Israel, as the kallah, passed through mikveh of the Sea of Reeds, but they were not faithful to their kallah. Throughout our relationship with HaShem, we have experienced times of blessings and times and failures, and yet:

Deuteronomy 31:8 Adonai Himself will go before you. He will be with you; He will not fail you or forsake you. Fear not and be not dismayed!"

Even though Israel's sins caused the Northern Ten Houses to be separated from Judah and HaShem for a time:

Isaiah 11:11,12 And it shall come to pass in that day, that Adonai will set His hand again the second time to recover the remnant of his people, who shall be left, from Assyria, and Egypt, and from Pathros, and Cush, and Elam, and Shinar, and Hamath, and the islands of the sea.

The point: Our Divine Spouse loves us with unconditional love and loyalty. No matter how one enters the Covenant, as shown in this week's Parsha: "I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine; he grazes among the lilies" (Song of Solomon 6:3). If we loved our spouses with such love, divorcement would almost cease.

If we loved our children as HaShem, our Parent, loves us, abortion and other forms of child abuse would cease.

If we loved others as He loves us, there would be no more war. Thus says our Beloved:

I am Adonai, I change not; therefore, you descendants of Ya'akov are not consumed [by your enemies]. Since the days of your fathers, you have disregarded my ordinances and have not kept them. Return to Me, and I will return unto you, thus says Adonai Shavuot.

* © Rabbi Shlomo Nachman ben Ya'akov, BeitEmunah.org, © September 12, 2024



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